Liam:
'Ey up son. Do you know a scrap yard or tip around?
Me:
I think there's one in Milton I believe. Why have you killed someone?
Liam:
Yes. Just trying to cut it to pieces in the bath. I've gone through 3 bread knives and a veg knife. Don't suppose you've got an old fridge?
Me:
We have some chest freezers at work, maybe you could put the chest in one?
Liam:
I'll get it down to manageable pieces. What do you think would be better, Tesco bags or Co-op bags? Oh and do you want to come round for a roast cos I'll save a bit.
Me:
Oo lovely! You should keep the bones, or at least boil them up before you chuck them. They'll make great soup!
Liam (with a crying emoticon attached):
Do men named Alan have wish bones? If not well, oh never mind. Late Xmas Rolex?
